A Somber Birthday

This Saturday, May 19, will mark one year from what would be the last birthday my dad would celebrate on this earth. It's a good thing it was a wonderful day, too. Had he known it would be his last birthday, it couldn't have been any better.

My brother, my sister and I were all together under one roof for the first time in too many years to count. Each of our families were there. In the time since we were last together, the kids had grown up and had their own kids. A few of them were there together for the first time as adults. It was a momentous day! It could only be described as "perfect." We sprinkled in some of the cousins and their spouses, and Aunt Betty, too. We even had a video greeting from Dad's sister, the one and only Cheno Perkins. We took a lot of pictures and Dad was smiling and laughing in almost every one. We all did our share of laughing, too. It was a birthday just as Dad would have wanted it.

It would be only a few months later that Dad would leave us. His departure set off the list of all the "firsts" that would be without him. My wife and I were going to celebrate 20 years of marriage the next day, but we had to take a back seat while we made preparations. My birthday was a month and one day after his death, but it was hardly a celebration. Other birthdays and holidays came and went, like Thankgiving, Christmas and Easter. And now this...Every milestone serves as a reminder of who and what we lost.

To remember and celebrate our dad, my mom, brother and sister are all meeting at Carter Cemetery this Saturday, to see the grave markers that were set a little over a month ago - just in time for Dad's birthday. I'm sure Dad would like what we picked. The headstone has a cowboy kneeling at a cross with his horse behind him, and the words "Beloved husband, father and grandfather" at the top. His foot stone draws attention to the fact that he participated in arguably the greatest conflict of the 20th Century, in one of the most distinguished units in the second world war - the 101st Airborne. He might think it's "a bit too much." I think anyone who knows and appreciates what he, and other men like him, did for this country, they would say "it's not nearly enough."

There's something about being a place where he knew he wanted to be one day. And on this first birthday without Dad, I'm sure we'll all laugh and cry and remember the things that made him so special to us. I suspect I will make the trip up to that old cemetery more and more in the coming years, though I won't dare speak for my siblings. It's really important that we be there this weekend for him. It will make us that much more grateful for what we had, on the same day, just one year before.